New Year Blues

So...New Year is a strange time for a lot of people. From the enforced joy of the Christmas season to the enforced celebration of the old year and the enthusiasm for the year ahead. Not everyone feels the festive spirit. I want to be happy but it doesn't always coincide with the festivals that are generally celebrated. Sometimes the depression takes hold and I do not feel like being around people or being jolly; I want to sit by myself and mope. I learned a long time ago that if I am in the grip of depression, I may as well embrace it rather than fighting it - it actually seems to go past quicker if I approach it with the "okay, let's get it over with attitude" as opposed to "I won't allow it".

Looking back over the old year can be hard - we all go through difficult times. Those we love are not always there to celebrate with us because of other commitments or because they have been taken away by accidents, ailments or disease. We don't always have someone who we can call special in our lives, our working life may not be what we would have wished for, our family lives may be lacking.

Before Christmas I had started work on some pictures in Second Life. They had been sparked by my involvement with the Survivors of Suicide Project in-world. I found the whole process of creating them to be cathartic, until I acted one of them out in real life. It was mostly accidental - I was tired of feeling exhausted all the time and decided to stop taking my pills. Going cold turkey proved too much and after about three days I was so desperate that I started taking them again. Of course, they are not instant so when I did not get any relief, I took some more. And some more. And some more. Thankfully the new wave of anti-depressants makes you ill in the short term rather than causing permanent damage and the chances of overdose are slim unless you are really determined. Not everyone is so fortunate - the guy across the street from me was found hanged shortly before Christmas. Horrible for his family, horrible for him - dying alone under such circumstances.

So...my pictures. These are not meant to glorify anything and I would suggest that if you are off a nervous disposition you may wish to not view them. Mental ill-health is a taboo topic, but for as long as it is, people will slip quietly away without the help they so need.