Tuesday, 7 September 2010


So...I make no secret of the fact I have alts. I make no secret that I love to role play in SL Gor. Today I am making no secret of something else - people in SL Gor are pissing me off with their sheer fuckwittedness.

There are general comments people make in SL; "no drama"..."keep SL and RL separate"..."remember there are real people behind every avatar"...

Well what a load of old hooey. A load of old hooey that gets magnified a thousand times when people start role playing.

No drama

Some people absolutely live for the drama. They manipulate storylines, they manipulate others. They delight in causing as much mayhem and harm as they possibly can.

Keep SL and RL separate

A lovely idea but only truly practical if you are a sociopath. You can keep them separate by not revealing your real name, where you live, what work you do, what gender you really are... BUT if you are a functioning human being you have emotions and feelings. You can't keep these separate (see disclaimer for sociopaths). You have a good day, it reflects in your character. You have a bad day, that shows too. No matter how good an actor you are, part of the real you will always leak in to whatever role you are playing.

Remember there are real people behind every avatar

Yes there are and so many people seem to forget this despite shouting it out when someone upsets them. Actions and words have consequences. Doesn't matter whether you are dancing in a club or playing a role. If you keep your actions and words "in character", you can minimise actual hurt to other people but you can't always avoid it. Saying or doing something to someone who has had a day from hell can still upset them even if it is part of the role play. You both need to be grown up enough to talk it through calmly and move past it. It steps across boundaries when someone is deliberately malicious for the sake of causing upset.

I have a friend who has been through a lot lately - like who hasn't, right? But he is actually suffering from bereavement due to the death of a parent. The way he has been treated supposedly in-character within the world of SL Gor makes my blood boil - and the out of character comments have compounded it. I am tempted to name and shame those involved as they have done nothing but bitch, whine and create out of character drama in everything they have done...and then they treat a human being with an appalling disregard when they were fully aware of his personal circumstances.

Moment of total honesty - please don't read this if you are of a nervous disposition. When I role play in SL Gor as either a Free or a slave I have a rule - no rape scenarios. I have a good reason for this - I know from personal experience that there is no fun to be had in any kind of sexual assault. I voiced this opinion to someone recently...someone who is involved with the crowd who have caused so much upset to my friend. The response I was given was that I should not be role playing in Gor then...since I am "handicapped". That was his actual word - "handicapped". If I could have gotten my hands on him in real life, I would have ripped his throat out.

One last point...for those of you who have in your profile "I share conversations and by speaking to me you agree to this. This note is in accordance with the TOS", you are talking out of your arse. The Community Standards you agree to as part of the Terms of Service stand as a legally binding contract between you and Linden Labs. You cannot wave a magic wand and make that part of the agreement disappear...get a fucking clue.

And now on a brighter note, a little music...hope you all enjoy but I would like to dedicate it to several Gorean Masters I have had the displeasure of meeting in SL...

Gorean Masters in SL

Monday, 6 September 2010

Breaking the silence

So...I have been extremely quiet for some time now. Still reading the blogs I follow but not commenting or writing my own.

My Second Life took an unexpected turn a few weeks ago. I was just milling about aimlessly as I have a tendency to do no matter which avatar I am in and one of those messages popped up about one of my contacts being online. It was a message I had not seen in some time...my SL husband Revan. No advance warning...he was just there. It turned out to be one of those moments when you are not really sure that it is happening. I mean, he has been missing for so long, was it really him? In fact the first thing I said to him was "Is that you?" He has been in and out of SL a lot. Due to his real life situation, he is not in-world as much as he used to be, but it is great that he is there again. It would of course be nice if he tidied up after himself, but such is the nature of men...

My real life has been rather strained and strange. I have gone through a lot emotionally for over a year now and taken so many pills that some days I don't even feel like me any more. Some days I only wake up so I can have a nap... I started counselling a few weeks ago. I have done it when there have been difficult times in my life in the past, but this is so different to any of the other experiences. I have actually found a therapist who doesn't just make me talk about things; she makes me question why I act and think the way I do. There is no coercion, it just flows naturally from the conversation. I have been on a rollercoaster journey of unpicking my past and am now at the stage where there is a vital question to be answered - who am I? I have come to realise that I spent so many years trying to be the person that people wanted me to be, that I no longer know who the real me is. Maybe in time I will find out. Fingers crossed.