So...my Second Life, or even my Second Lives. I am essentially me when I am in SL. I can't change who I am but I try to reflect different aspects of myself through different avatars, especially when I am role playing in Gor.
My SL husband left SL last Summer due to technical issues. He did come back for a short time in December, but I am not really expecting him to come back again any time soon. So where does that leave me? The simple answer is...alone. Despite my numerous alternate persons, I am by myself. Even in the world of SL Gor, my Free man hardly sees his slave and my slave practically never sees his Master.
None of my other avatars have had a partner; there have been a few dalliances...Revan and I agreed that the alt accounts had a certain amount of freedom so long as our main accounts did not do anything. Of course, I would worry about people's feelings so I decided not to become involved with anyone while I had Revan. It seems unfair to everyone to have multiple personalities with multiple partners - not everyone feels the same, of course.
Sadly for me, the loneliness is becoming hard to take. As I said at the start, I am essentially me in SL...and a loneliness in every life takes a toll on you...bit by bit...day by day...
Okay...enough self-pitying crap for one post, but at least it gives me an excuse for a cracking song!
The Dame
I think your loyalty to your SL husband is incredible. I don't think I could be alone for 7 months with no idea if my loved one will return or not. I don't kno if you are in touch with Revan out-of-world, but if you aren't, and considering that you are finding being alone hard to take, it might be time to think about moving on. Just because, in SL, we should be happy. There's no point to the virtual world unless it's bringing us happiness. In RL we must make sacrifices and deal with responsibility and heartache and all that stuff. In SL, yes, I think we really must make happiness our first priority. You can't totally escape heartache or sadness of course, and happiness can't be at the expense of others of course, I agree with you about the alts/relationships thing... but, well, I'd really like to tell you that perhaps its time to maybe go on some dates and put loneliness on the shelf for the foreseeable. You've waited a long time, I don't think you need to have any reservations about maybe thinking about what you would like or need now. You are a great guy, you really deserve to have a smile on your face. Good luck, Spanki :)
ReplyDeleteI do still speak to Revan very occasionally via Facebook...but not sure if he will ever come back to SL; his life seems pretty hectic these days. One of my alts did have a brief relationships with someone but that ended a while ago.
ReplyDeleteMost of the time I actually enjoy being on my own in SL; it's just those times when I see other people happily coupled that I wonder if I will ever find myself in that situation again.
Virtual jealousy also plays a part. As someone who is to all intents and purposes single, guys seem wary of me, as though I am predatory and stalking their partner...