Not Myself...

So...I imagine a lot of people will dream about SL or even dream in SL from time to time. I have had some strange SL-inspired dreams over the past few years.

Shortly after renting my first skybox, I had a dream where I was in my new home laying on the bed and a thought occurred to me, "What is keeping this up in the air?" Of course, the skybox then began a rapid descent to the ground below!

I also had a dream, which played on one of the fears behind SL - the person behind the avatar dying. This is something that really bothers me (and I am sure a lot of other people), that someone who is part of your virtual life just disappears and you don't ever know what happened to them. In the case of my dream, I did find out what had happened - I got a message to say that my SL husband, Revan, had died. I made the journey to the US and went to his funeral; only to find when I got there that it was the avatar in the coffin and the person behind Revan was sitting in the front row of the church...

During my afternoon nap (a sign of age) on Saturday, I dreamed that I was in-world and talking to one of my alts. Just to give something of a twist to the scenario of alts, the alt made the shock announcement that they were actually someone else! Perhaps I should mention this to my therapist in case I am going nuts. On wait...I have a therapist; me being nuts is already a well established fact!

Summer Of Love Fair

So...I finally made it to the Summer of Love Fair. I have been trying to get in to it since it opened. The event features previously unreleased works by a host of SL designers and is designed to raise awareness of mental health issues. Obviously I have an interest in such issues - but I was also desperate to get the SF Designs Tuscan suit.

I managed to get in to the fair when only 33 people were there - which is less than half the amount the last time I tried - obviously it is quite laggy. Naturally there were a few annoyances. Given the high number of people, it might be best to edit your appearance somewhere else. There were several avatars wandering around with scripted attachments such as titlers, poofers(!) and nuclear glow face lights that must be able to be seen from five sims away. Yes, a soft face light can enhance your appearance, but something so bright that illuminates every pixel in your skin is not good; it is like watching Desperate Housewives in High Definition. There were a couple of displays that did not rez for me - one of them appeared to have bling/particle effects.

The biggest grievance I had was the absence of music. I hate silence, it makes me edgy. It is rare for me to stay anywhere with no media stream; if you don't want music, you can turn it off but it is harder to play something that is not there. My PC is old and loading Winamp at the same time as SL can be fatal.

There are a plethora of free gifts at the fair and they all come with a note card. The note cards concern a range of mental health issues including eating disorders, sexual abuse, self harm, bullying, bereavement, suicide, ADHD, OCD, gender issues, panic attacks and a whole load more. The majority of gifts are aimed towards the female end of the market - bikinis, dresses, heels and jewellery. There are, however, a few pieces that are unisex or specifically for men. I bought a few items from a couple of the exhibitors, of course. Well, I had nothing to wear...

One of the exhibitors had a poster for Hopeline, with a percentage of proceeds from sales going to them.

There was a female avatar wandering around who caught my attention. I am not sure if the person was a male to female transexual trying for realism but to my mind enormous hands and feet make you look like you are wearing a demo shape.

I was surprised that there was nothing on addiction, but that may be just as well as the Alexohol gift is boxed in a giant cocktail glass. Thankfully the unisex baseball shirt and the two bikinis are the usual high standard of Alexohol. Admittedly I won't be wearing the bikinis - at least not without at least waxing... Speaking of swimwear, I bought the 'outfit' below from ISPACHI.



Finally, a big thank you to Keira Seerose and the team at CHIC for organising an event that showcases the work of SL designers (clothing, poses, jewelery, furntiure) while helping to raise awareness of mental health issues.

Piccy

So...there is a photo contest taking place at TRACS. I do not usually bother with contests and have no expectations towards this; it's not the winning, it's the taking part.

I love the atmosphere at TRACS Saturday party and whether it is Tim DJing or guest DJ JennaRose, I always enjoy the music. Additionally, I can cam the stores from the dancefloor so it is a case of shop while you bop! The summer parties have been held at various venues on the island rather than being confined to the club - this gives a great chance to see what is on offer.

I wanted to show the boys some support in their venture, so I thought "What the hell...put a pic up". And here is the pic I chose...

All Alone In The Night

So...my Second Life, or even my Second Lives. I am essentially me when I am in SL. I can't change who I am but I try to reflect different aspects of myself through different avatars, especially when I am role playing in Gor.

My SL husband left SL last Summer due to technical issues. He did come back for a short time in December, but I am not really expecting him to come back again any time soon. So where does that leave me? The simple answer is...alone. Despite my numerous alternate persons, I am by myself. Even in the world of SL Gor, my Free man hardly sees his slave and my slave practically never sees his Master.

None of my other avatars have had a partner; there have been a few dalliances...Revan and I agreed that the alt accounts had a certain amount of freedom so long as our main accounts did not do anything. Of course, I would worry about people's feelings so I decided not to become involved with anyone while I had Revan. It seems unfair to everyone to have multiple personalities with multiple partners - not everyone feels the same, of course.

Sadly for me, the loneliness is becoming hard to take. As I said at the start, I am essentially me in SL...and a loneliness in every life takes a toll on you...bit by bit...day by day...

Okay...enough self-pitying crap for one post, but at least it gives me an excuse for a cracking song!

The Dame

Tolerance

So...tolerance is something we are encouraged to practice in all aspects of our lives. I guess it depends on definitions and such, and I really do not want to get in to semantics, but tolerance does not work for me. There is a connotation in the word tolerance that bugs me...it is kind of "well I do not agree with you but I will tolerate you".

There is another word that I prefer and one that I try to practice in my life - acceptance. Acceptance to me means "well I don't agree with you but I accept that is your point of view".

None of us have had the same life experiences. It is those life experiences that make us who we are and shape what we do, what we say, what we think and what we believe. When I am talking with people and they tell me things, I try to relate to them in terms of my own experiences, but I can never fully appreciate their perspective because I am not them. So I accept what they tell me as being true and valid for them - because it is, no matter how alien it may seem to me. Even if I do not agree with them, I will continue to discuss things to help me try to understand them and hopefully show an interest in that person despite our differences.

I really hate the attitude of "you are wrong". There is someone I have to interact with in SL as part of a role play I am involved in. His behaviour suggests his firm belief that he is right and therefore any difference of opinion is wrong, but he will tolerate your presence as one would tolerate any other annoyance - but he has to speak out about it. He seems incapable of accepting that people have their own points of view and their own interests. It makes him very hard to deal with, but you know what? I accept that is him.